Her Role in Heaven

"When I go to heaven, I'm gonna ask God to make me a tooth fairy."

"Why a tooth fairy?"

"I don't know. I want to see where they live."

"What do you think they do with all those teeth?"

"They probably just keep them. Like 'Hoarders'."

Out of the Mouths of Babes...

While watching Supernanny, Olivia says, "It's not the kids' fault! It's the parents' fault! If the parents were nicer, they would have nicer kids!"

Making Moves

She handed me a yogurt cup and says, "Can you open this for me?"
"You can't open this by yourself?"
"I will when I move out."
"Move out where?"
"In my own house."
"Well, I hope you figure it out before that."

She's already making plans.

Random Questions: Take 1

Here are a few of the random questions Olivia has asked recently.
None of them were asked during a relevant conversation.
They were individual questions asked right out of the blue.

"Do bugs get mad at each other?"
"Are there kids in jail right now?"
"Do people in Africa see the same sun we do?"
"Why can't we live on Pluto?"
"Can people live in Disney World?"
"If I wasn't your daughter, would you still love me?"

Grounded For The First Time.

"Daddy, when are you going to ground me?"

"You want to be grounded?"

"Yes."

"Well, first you have to do something wrong."

(She stuck her tongue out at me.)

"OK, you're grounded. Go sit in your room."

(She walked to her room with a smile on her face. Weird kid.)

Long Live The King

"Daddy, have you ever heard of this guy named Michael Jackson? He made a video with zombies in it."
"Lol. Yeah, I heard something about that."

I guess the King of Pop WILL live forever.

Needs and Desires

She said, "I did not have any candy today."
I told her, "You don't need any candy."
"But do I DESERVE some candy?"

I almost fell for it.

Making the Band

Olivia told me all about the band she was starting with two other girls in her class.
"And you know what we're calling ourselves?"
"What?"
"The Three Girls!"
"(Lol!) Wow... That's a very creative name there."

Scared Straight

"Daddy, have you ever been to jail?"
"No. Why?"
"Because I wouldn't want a dad that's been to jail before."
"So if I ever go to jail, you're not gonna love me anymore?"
"Ummm...  Maybe a little bit."

Talk about being 'scared straight'.

No Yelling

"Dad, did you ever yell at me when I was a baby?"
"Do you remember me yelling at you when you were a baby?"
"No."
"Then, no."

No need to ruin my rep.

The Not-So-Big Moments

We were up this morning, sitting on Olivia's bed, and talking about all the big moments and fun things we did in 2013. I asked her, "Of all the things we did this year, what will you remember the most?"
She answered,"When we were riding in the minivan for the first time."
"Minivan?"
"Yeah. To Hershey Park"
Apparently, the most memorable moment of 2013 for Olivia was when we took a 4-minute shuttle ride from the hotel to Hershey Park.... in a minivan.

Lol. Why do we try so hard?

The F Word

"Daddy, I know a 'F' word."
"Say what?"
"I know a 'F' word."
"What 'F' word do you know?"
"Fortune cookies!"

Relieved. For now.

FLASHBACK

FLASHBACK from this date in 2011:

"Daddy, can I have a ice pop?"
"Yeah, give me a minute."
"Daddy. Daddy. Daddy, can I have my ice pop, please?"
"Hang on."
"Daddy, look at my hands."
"What's wrong?"
"No ice pop."

Priorities.

"Liv, Liv... why do you keep bothering me? I'm trying to finish your homework."

Forfeit

So, we were playing 'ballon volleyball' in the living room. First one to 30 wins. After my 10-5 lead, Olivia started cheating. So I decided I didn't want to play anymore.
It wasn't until after she went to bed that I found her score sheet. Not only did she give herself 30 points (with a star next to it), but she scratched my name off completely.  I laughed and thought, "that's something her uncle Chris would have done when he was a little kid."

Self Taught

"Daddy, how do I write 'YOU ARE WRONG!'."
"Why do you want to write that?"
"Mommy. She made me mad."
"Don't write that to mommy, Liv"
"I'll figure it out......myself."

Change of Heart

I was just about to call her into her room to clean her messy and cluttered desk.
Then, I went on to clean it myself.

FLASHBACK

FLASHBACK from this date in 2011:

Olivia recited the pledge of allegiance, and I was like,
"Whoa! My baby is so smart!"
She replied, "YES I IS!"
Guess I spoke too soon.

Definition

"Daddy, what's a diva?"
"Huh?"
"I benimber (remember) you said I was a diva. What does that mean?"
"Well...."
"Is it too complicated? You think I won't get it?"
".... who taught you the word 'complicated'?"

Phone Number

When I had her memorize our home phone number, I didn't know that at 4 years old she'd be writing it down, passing it out, and setting up playdates on her own.