Her Role in Heaven

"When I go to heaven, I'm gonna ask God to make me a tooth fairy."

"Why a tooth fairy?"

"I don't know. I want to see where they live."

"What do you think they do with all those teeth?"

"They probably just keep them. Like 'Hoarders'."

Out of the Mouths of Babes...

While watching Supernanny, Olivia says, "It's not the kids' fault! It's the parents' fault! If the parents were nicer, they would have nicer kids!"

Making Moves

She handed me a yogurt cup and says, "Can you open this for me?"
"You can't open this by yourself?"
"I will when I move out."
"Move out where?"
"In my own house."
"Well, I hope you figure it out before that."

She's already making plans.

Random Questions: Take 1

Here are a few of the random questions Olivia has asked recently.
None of them were asked during a relevant conversation.
They were individual questions asked right out of the blue.

"Do bugs get mad at each other?"
"Are there kids in jail right now?"
"Do people in Africa see the same sun we do?"
"Why can't we live on Pluto?"
"Can people live in Disney World?"
"If I wasn't your daughter, would you still love me?"

Grounded For The First Time.

"Daddy, when are you going to ground me?"

"You want to be grounded?"

"Yes."

"Well, first you have to do something wrong."

(She stuck her tongue out at me.)

"OK, you're grounded. Go sit in your room."

(She walked to her room with a smile on her face. Weird kid.)

Long Live The King

"Daddy, have you ever heard of this guy named Michael Jackson? He made a video with zombies in it."
"Lol. Yeah, I heard something about that."

I guess the King of Pop WILL live forever.

Needs and Desires

She said, "I did not have any candy today."
I told her, "You don't need any candy."
"But do I DESERVE some candy?"

I almost fell for it.